It's not turning a new leaf, it like a leap of faith.

I keep odd hours. People underestimate me, sometimes they should. I talk loud, I laugh louder. I stutter and mumble thorough conversations that make me uncomfortable. I make a mean grilled cheese. Lately I've been trying to have more positive days. In case I fail I want someone there to be my witness to the fact that at least I tried. I hate when people cry around me, I can't deal with my own emotions much less anyone else's, it may sound strange but I feel so much its hard to feel anything. I like to read the newspaper the smell is pure nostalgia. Someday's I want to run away and someday's I want you to ask me to stay. Today my friend said that I need to work hard on being OK with being alone,I agree its one of my new goals. I smile during my favorite songs. I want people to meet me and think that I am insane in the non-asylum way. I want to shake things up and stay the same. On the inside of my head there is a rainbow that I can get use to. I don't want to start from scratch.

Heres a list of my new goals.

1.)drive.
2.)paint more.
3.)Lie less.
4.)think positively.
5.)find what I love most in life.
6.)be ok with being alone.
7.) stop keeping it all in.
8.) smile, cry, punch walls...feel.
9.) leave your comfort zone.
9.) become responsible for another living thing.
10.) grow up.

"a part of me want to take it back to the glory days when we could drown all our problems in sock hops and peach schnapps." - me



-megs