If I counted the number of times that, I repeat, "brace yourself" in my head it be in the millions. Whenever my eyes grow heavy I can never sleep instead I lay in bed and think of all the ways this ship can sink. I feel that If I lie one more time, I am going to break the bank so I play on repeat "brace yourself." If I knew how to be completely honest I still wouldn't be I don't lie to protect me I lie to protect you from me. When I do finally sleep the last words, I think are "for the girl who never sleeps, here’s proof that everyone dreams." In every situation, I say the wrong thing. I want a one-way street out of my brain. This loner that I have become is not who I am in my head and I don't know what that means. They pick my words and action apart and I smile, a part of me knows I do things for laughs it's become this masochistic cycle. No one out there could have a lower opinion of me then I have of myself. the moment I meet you I know you hate me and I build a wall between me and the world. The world is rushing around me and I am stuck in this prison of mistakes and should haves. I stopped wincing when I lie along time ago and I know when to flash you a smile. The only talents I have are for dreaming ...what’s a dream without talent and what’s talent if you don't dream? Nothing terrifies me more than knowing that I am going to wind up like one of them a robot without a cause working to live on the bare minimum dreaming of the things that I don't have the guts to fight for. I wish my eyes were dead. These thoughts are trapping me in my head tight. Clawing my way into situations that I can't get a feel for. The last time I cried was when I realized that the very thing I fight for is the reason I can’t sleep. If my heart was any heavier, I could shit it out. hips and lips lie better then I ever could .........as deep as a sink.
"I have never felt more at home then I do when I am under my sunglasses and hoodie. "
megsbgood
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