I'm getting use to it, I have to get use to it.

things are bright outside and I curse the sun as I crawl back under my rock. I'm not unhappy nor content, numb afraid that I won't be able to keep it in much longer , there is a strong gust of wind threatening my house of cards. I digress because in true flaky fashion I will hold on until the last card falls. trust me when I say its not as charming as it all sounds I am tiptoeing around situations. I want to no longer lose sleep thinking about my shortcomings and mistakes. and future fuck ups. I want the world in my head sort of, even in there I am fucked -up just less lonely.