working class zero

I lost my self in intentions leading me foot before heel into hell. I am my worst impersonator I pretend to be what I think that you want me to be when you’re pretending to be what I want you to be while I am pretending. I got a pocket full of fool’s gold thinking that this will never have to end. When do epiphanies hit us? When do we have that moment when everything clicks these thoughts are making my head sick and I can’t focus on the now I put in the minimum amount of me in every situation and I expect the maximum amount. I can’t let anyone in because I can’t let myself out a stranger with strange ways who’s a stranger to themselves. I smile only because it breaks you. I want to trip those kids who live off anything but cynicism. More than anything I want to be the girl who picks four leaf clovers by the barrel


megs

Shame if for those who have pride

Today I thought about calling you…I slept beside the phone hoping in a brief second of bravery I would throw caution to the wind and give in to this addiction that I have to hearing your voice and then hanging up,except I never sleep. I continue to live in this world that I have created for myself fading in and out of static thoughts and memories of cracked up hearts. The only loyalties I have left are to the lies I tell myself so I can get out of bed.

"OH NO ! it's the cops"

-m.e.g.s

Being alone is for cool kids

Blank page and blank heart, the things that I wonder about are to substantial for you to worry about and to simplistic for you to wonder about. I want to sail to the end of the world. I want to get inside your head and hear the static I cause when I speak, I want to get under your skin and see how you work, and I want to kiss your lips and it taste of past mistakes. However, most of all I want nothing more than who YOU are. I watched you through a window sitting at the bar as you sipped your drink. A million miles away and the thought of watching you fall from your ivory tower makes me smile in the saddest way. This however could mean one or two things you are only human or I'm the worst thing to think about while you’re talking over drinks. Jealousy sets in cause when you slip up its called being on the mend. I envy what you are to them, I resent what you try to be to me and I love who you use to be. This is the scoop of the century and you stole its thunder. Sell me a ticket and buy me some jujubes I want a front row seat to this show watching you fall from grace and been a saving one for me. I feel smashed and hidden in the spaces of time that I seem to never mention while your around I opened the door this morning and the past was starring me straight In the face daring me to pretend again like all those things had never happened. I now know why I cannot longer define what we are, because we tiptoe around what we use to be. Kid, I want to take the bad in you and combine it with the bad in me and keep in the pits of out stomachs remind us of the fact we are what we pretend to be in out darkest hour.

“believing the havoc we reek”

-megsssss

friends don't let friends drunk blog

I have kinda been in my own head I got lost but I found the light at the end of the tunnel: reality. Life always seems more precious when there is a tragedy little things don't matter and you just want to reach life and touch it, but that all goes away in a few months and we fall back into the dregs of our lives... I am guilty of it too. I don't want to slip through the cracks and I feel like I have something to prove, and I constantly feel like they picked the wrong person....I need something to believe in ...I need a goal ..life gets hard and I feel like I owe some people to live mine to the fullest......am I the wrong person for this "job"?.......my bad genes are a blessing they show me what mistakes not to make ....I'm lucky for that......I want the people around me to find what they want most in the world ...love, money, family, success ....I need them to be there, they make my soul feel right.I want someone who gets me ...really gets me ....so they can tell me how I am because really I don't get me ...I feel fake ...even now ..I want someone to give me the answers...but then forget and give me the credit ........I need sleep...another drink.... goddamn conformist......

I get people off. I look for the guy who isn't getting off, and I make him get off.

Welcome the Lights

I want to crash on your couch and wake up in yesterday’s clothes. I love to sleep with you in this glass house. I'm you strychnine that you take from time to time and every time I close my eyes I think of all the ways I can ruin this.

"I smile, because my whole life my ambition outweighed my talent."


-megs

Get your game on kid

Life has this funny way of scaring you into realizing reality and if you choose to ignore it, life has a funny way of screwing you over. My whole life I felt I have always take the left turns so how did everything turn out right? I can't stand the sound of that little voice in my head, so sometimes I like to think that it’s on vacation and ignore it until it’s screaming. I don't give up easily, but I think that I sorta just lucked into this fight.

"I think that when the end comes I want to be talking on my Iphone."

-megs

Shock and awe will fool them all

Swimming around in my head...doing lap after lap on the shallow end. There are a million things that I want to say, a million thing that I want to feel. Feelings are what I save for starry nights so don't think that I am just putting on a game face, I don't have one of those. My conscience is going to take an extended vacation, my tear ducts are closed and my moral compass broke. I am a victim of double standards that I set for my self. I am pretending that I don't feel like every emotion I have is not some well thought out plan... I am a raw nerve and I wish I was a stone wall. I am so fake in the sense that I would love nothing more for you to fall for my line of bullshit, while I sit under the stairs and cry. The grass is greener on the other side and I am tired of living in the glass box with a lock. My life is a dream, the people around me are amazing, so here’s to hoping that ignorance is bliss and that my smile doesn’t melt off ...yes this is me being happy

I love the way you hate the way I hate sleeping alone......

"Oh look there’s a porter potty."
"no its not."
"well, I'll pee on it anyways."